OUR SELECTION THIS TIME IS ATLAS SHOT FIRST, BASED ON ATLAS SHRUGGED BY ANGRY RUSSIAN-TURNED-AMERICAN AYN RAND!! WE THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING THE TITLE ALONE, BUT DECIDED THAT SHRUGGING WAS FOR HOUSEWIVES AND LITTLE GIRLS!! WE WOULDN't TELL ATLAS TO SHRUG, BUT TO SHOOT ... AND MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE GOT THE CHANCE!!
THE ORIGINAL RAN OVER 700 PAGES IN PAPERBACK, WHICH MEANT TWO THINGS: YOU COULD BRAIN A FAIRLY HEALTHY CAPE BUFFALO WITH IT, AND IT WAS JUST TOO LONG!! BY ELIMINATING ALL OF THE PHILOSOPHY, WEIRD "ROMANCE", AND WORDS OF MORE THAN ONE SYLLABLE -- IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN'T READ 'EM, WE JUST DON'T NEED 'EM -- WE GOT IT DOWN TO 35 LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTIN' PAGES!!
BUT WHO COULD WE GET TO READ SUCH A THING?!! AFTER ALL, THIS IS THE ONLY 35-PAGE BOOK THAT CAN CRUSH A WOLVERINE'S SKULL!, WE WENT ROUND AND ROUND, BUT IN THE END THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE:
MR. T!!
NOT THE CURRENT ONE, BUT THE EARLY 80S ONE!! THE ONE BEFORE THE A-TEAM!, THE ONE WHO LIKED TO BE CALLED BY HIS FULL NAME: "FIRST NAME: MR! MIDDLE NAME: THE PERIOD! LAST NAME: T!"!!
ATLAS SHOT FIRST, READ BY MR. T!! GET IT NOW, IF YOU AREN'T A SKIRT-WEARIN' FAIRY-MARY!!
