COBRASAURUS!!!!! BOOK CLUB #4: BEOWOLVERINE!!

I WAS SITTING AROUND THE OTHER DAY, WHICH I ALWAYS DO IN THE MOST MASCULNE WAY IMAGINABLE, WHEN I FELT LIKE READING SOMETHING!! NOW, I LIKE NECK-PUNCHING DUMP TRUCKS AND GIVING WEDGIES TO MOUNTAIN RANGES MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE, BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO KILL THINGS WITH MY BRAIN, AND THE ONLY WAY I KNOW TO EXERCISE THAT PARTICULAR MUSCLE IS THE COBRASAURUS!!!!! BOOK CLUB!!

I'D ALREADY READ THE FIRST THREE BOOKS THAT CS!!!!! RECOMMENDED -- PUNISHMENT, WAR, AND ATLAS SHOT FIRST -- AND WAS EAGER TO SEE WHAT WAS NEXT!! WHAT WAS NEXT TURNED OUT TO BE BEOWULF, BUT MODIFIED FOR THE COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN: BEOWOLVERINE!! NOTICE WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT THE SUPERHERO WOLVERINE (YELLOW TIGHTS ARE FOR SISSIES) BUT THE 60-LB. WEASEL THAT'S BEEN KNOWN TO KILL POLAR BEARS (YELLOW TIGHTS ARE FOR SISSIES)!!

GIVEN THAT BEOWULF IS ALREADY A VERY COBRASAURUS!!!!! KIND OF BOOK -- BEFORE It EVEN STARTS THE HERO WAS FAMOUS FOR SWIMMING AROUND KILLING SEA MONSTERS FOR A WEEK OR SO -- THE QUESTION ARISES: HOW COULD IT BE MADE EVEN MORE MASCULINE?!!

SIMPLE: MORE MONSTERS!! EVERYONE GETS SEVERAL MONSTERS TO FIGHT!! EVEN WEALHTHEOW,  WHOSE JOB IN THE ORIGINAL IS LITERALLY TO STAND AROUND LOOKING PRETTY, KILLS EIGHT WITH HER BARE HANDS!! ALSO, UNFERTH IS NOW A BEAR!! WITH SPECIAL FORCES TRAINING!!

AT THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING STANDS BEOWOLVERINE!! HALF MAN, HALF WOLVERINE, ALL HALF-MAN, HALF-WOLVERINE!! BEOWOLVERINE!! HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE THE REST, BECAUSE HE'S TALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!! BEOWOLVERINE!!

GET IT... OR DON'T!!