ASK A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN 2002!!

THE 141ST MOST COBRASAURUS!!!!! NATION ON EARTH!!

Nothing to see here, folks. It's just a map.

I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT EQUATORIAL GUINEA!!

CHUCK NORRIS LOOKS BACK ON 50 YEARS OF COBRASAURUS!!!!! ENVY!!

"MR NORRIS SAID HE'S WASTED HIS ENTIRE LIFE," HIS PUBLICIST TOLD US AT COBRASAURUS!!!!!  LIKE WE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW!! "HIS CAREER AS AN ACTION HERO WAS MEANT TO IMPRESS COBRASAURUS!!!!!, AND WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK, HE GAINED A REPUTATION AS AN ULTRA-HUMANOID!! FINALLY. HE JUST GAVE UP!!

"HE SAYS HE IS MUCH HAPPIER NOW, WEARING PRETTY YELLOW SUNDRESSES, GOING BY HIS MIDDLE NAME, LACEY, AND FOLLOWING HIS TRUE DREAM OF PLAYING FURNITURE OFF-BROADWAY!! HE CAN CURRENTLY BE SEEN IN A MODERNIZATION OF THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, AS A TASTEFUL OTTOMAN!!

ASK A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN #888.2!!

MELVIN F. OF MARS STUMP, MD ASKS:

"CAN YOU RECOMMEND A GOOD PLACE TO GET A MANICURE?"

ANSWER!!:

FIRST, HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE?!! OUR SECURITY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED A SKIRT-WEARIN' FAIRY-MARY LIKE YOU BEFORE YOU EVEN STARTED!! SECOND, COBRASAURUS!!!!! MEN DON'T GET MANICURES!! WE GET MANIDISEASES!! RIGHT NOW, I HAVE DENGUE FEVER IN MY LEFT HAND, AND TRENCH MOUTH IN THE RIGHT!!