WHAT IF AMERICA HAD BEEN DISCOVERED BY A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN!!?
IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED A LOT SOONER AND A LOT FASTER, AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN NAMED AFTER SOME ITALIAN MAPMAKER, EITHER!! IT WOULD HAVE A MASCULINE NAME, LIKE RAY OR ED!! ALSO, OUR NATIONAL BIRD WOULD BE A FIRE-BREATHING LASER MULE WITH AXE FEET!!
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