10 MORE COBRASAURUS!!!!! FACTS!!

IN HIS NEVER-ENDING SEARCH FOR KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM, AND LIGHTNING-FLAVORED SPACE-BACON, THE COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN HAS LEARNED THAT NOTHING SATISFIES LIKE MASTERING EVERY ASPECT OF COBRASAURUS!!!!! LORE!!

EXCEPT LIGHTNING-FLAVORED SPACE-BACON!!  HOWEVER, WE'D SOONER FACE DOWN THE COAL-BURNING JAWS OF THE HOARY HOUNDS OF CHUCK-E-CHEESE HELL THAN GIVE UP OUR SPACE-BACON, SO BE HAPPY WE'VE THROWN YOU THESE TEN (MORE!!) ATOMIC RAZOR-STUDDED MAN-FACTS!!:


A.)  NO MATTER HOW FAR THE TEMPERATURE DROPS, A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN NEVER GETS COLD!!  HE ONLY GETS MORE IMPENETRABLE!!

[XVVX] STRANGE AS IT SOUNDS, THERE ARE ACTUALLY VEGETARIAN COBRASAURUS!!!!! MEN!!  THEY EAT ONLY VEGETATION, NOT BECAUSE THEY LOVE ANIMALS, BUT BECAUSE OF THEIR INFINITE AND UNDYING HATRED FOR PLANTS!!

DEUX.>  THE TOUCH OF AN ANGRY COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN WILL CURE YOU OF LIFE!!

10.)  IF COBRASAURUS!!!!! HAD A TIME MACHINE, IT WOULD BE SET FOR EVERY DAY OF STALIN'S LIFE, SO THAT A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN COULD GO BACK AND MONKEY-PUNCH HIM IN THE SPINE FIRST THING EVERY MORNING!!  THERE WOULD ALSO BE SETTINGS FOR OSCAR WILDE, MOLLY RINGWALD, AND EVERYONE WHO EVER BOUGHT A JAMES TAYLOR ALBUM!!

H.  A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN IS NEVER LATE NOR EARLY ... BUT HE HAS A STEEL-TOED FACE!!

ZAZPI!)  CLONE "GENTLEMAN JIM" CORBETT!!  TEAR OFF THE CLONE'S FISTS WITH YOUR THOUSAND-YARD STARE!!  THROW THE FISTS THROUGH ALL EIGHT ENGINES OF A B-52 AS IT BOMBS ALCATRAZ!!  NOW WRAP THE SMOKING FISTMEAT IN SPACE-BACON AND SMASH IT BETWEEN TWO TRICERATOPS KNUCKLE BONES!!  CONGRATULATIONS ... YOU JUST MADE A COBRASAURUS!!!!! BURGER!!

SEPTUS!!)  WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN GETS BORED?!!  ASK ATLANTIS!!!!!

0111!!!)  CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, THE OFFICIAL VEHICLE OF COBRASAURUS!!!!! IS NOT A ROCKET-PROPELLED BACKHOE MADE OF URANIUM AND TITANS' BONES!!  IT IS EIGHT ROCKET-PROPELLED BACKHOES MADE OF URANIUM AND TITANS' BONES!!!!!

OUGHT.  EVERY TIME A COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN FIRES OFF A SNOT ROCKET, A LASER MULE GETS HIS WINGS!!

07734 ...  J. R. R. TOLKIEN WROTE A COBRASAURUS!!!!! VERSION OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS!!  IT'S NEVER BEEN PUBLISHED, THOUGH, BECAUSE NO PUBLISHER COULD PRINT WITH INK MADE OF DARK MATTER AND THE GIRLISH TEARS OF SATAN!!

COBRASAURUS!!!!!