IT'S PUNISHMENT!!!!!, BY THAT GRIM RUSSIAN BRONTOSCRIBE, FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY!! IT USED TO BE CALLED CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, BUT EVERY COBRASAURUS!!!!! MAN HAS TWO THINGS ABOVE ALL ELSE:
1. THE KNOWLEDGE THAT PUNISHMENT NEEDS NO CRIME TO BRING IT ON!!, AND
2. TOO MUCH BONE-THRASHING AND NOT ENOUGH TIME!!
SO WE CUT OUT ALL THE UNNECESSARY THINGS LIKE NOUNS AND IMAGERY AND LEFT ONLY THE DIAMOND-HARD SPIKY CORE OF IMPLACABLE VINDICATION SO YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO WREST MAMMOTH IVORY FROM THE EARTH WITH YOUR TEETH!! ALSO, THERE ARE LASER MULES!!
BUT WHO COULD WE GET TO READ THIS MOST FUNDAMENTALLY FATEFUL OF TOMES?!!
IT'S BRIAN "I ATE WALES!!!!!" BLESSED!!!!! YOU MAY KNOW HIM FROM BLACKADDER, OR FROM THAT TIME ONE OF HIS SUBSONIC CRUMPET BELCHES SET OFF A VOLCANO IN ICELAND!! ALL WE KNOW IS THAT HE'S GOT A VOICE LIKE GOD THROWING UP BACKWARDS AND A BEARD THAT PROVIDES THE BASE COMPOUNDS FOR THUNDER!! THAT'S RIGHT ... IF YOU PROCESS HIS BEARD HAIR, YOU GET THE RAW MATERIALS THAT BEARDS MADE OF THUNDER ARE MADE FROM!!!!!
HOW DO WE DO IT?!! HOW COULD WE NOT?!! WE'RE COBRASAURUS!!!!! AND WE'LL BRING YOU THE BEST EVEN IF IT MEANS FEEDING A PRINCE TO A MEGALOCEPHALIC BRITISH OGRE!!
SO GET YOUR COPY OF PUNISHMENT!!!!!, FIRE-BELCH 'HAVOC!', AND LET SLIP THE MEGALOCEPHALIC BRITISH OGRES OF WAR!!!!!
COBRASAURUS!!!!!
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